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Everything’s great when we spend time with each other. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy who “uses” women and is totally selfish; it just means he has other priorities in life right now (like his career.) He’s afraid that if he says yes to your proposal with the little he can offer, he will fail to live up to your relationship expectations. At this stage of the game you’re excited to see him whenever he can make the time. Suddenly you’re feeling sad and neglected when he doesn’t make time for you, rather than appreciating him for when he does.

We do get intimate when we see each other and at other times we just hang out. The little he is able to give you is enough to satisfy and make you happy. The dynamics will grow tense and the innocent joy you felt with each other will drown in the overwhelming tides of expectations and disappointments.

But I've learned that those romantic conventions don't work when you are trying to date a queer person.

The dynamic of two men being together IS DIFFERENT.

For a self-sufficient, high-earning man, a woman’s earning potential carries very little weight. Because we have always been taught that nobody is going to pay our way in life.

This gives men the freedom to choose a partner based on what matters most – character, kindness, fun, humor, compatibility – as opposed to mere earning potential. So why do women treat being high-earners like it’s a curse?

About a month ago I asked him if we could ever be more than friends and he said he’s not going to answer that. He’s played the entire thing out in his head and all he can see is Doom and Gloom! A few years ago I was in a similar boat as you are today.

By asking him to be more than friends, you ask him for a greater commitment.

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The first time we hung out one-on-one was the second time we had ever met. Talking through the night, sharing deep secrets and dreams, teasing each other silly and laughing to the point where bodily fluids escaped.Here's what they had to say: "Growing up, I loved romantic comedies that depicted the happy endings of straight couples.So when I started dating, I viewed what I wanted from those examples.It isn't easy, as any of us who've loved and wound up in the red can tell you. In between the flowers and the heart flutters, take the time to see if the person you love fits any of these eight signs.By the way, this advice is steeped in real-life experience, as well as a survey by TD Ameritrade about the biggest financial dealbreakers in Americans' love lives.

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